You don’t believe people can change until the administrative assistant leaves the movie. The administrative assistant has never suffered one fool, and she was not about to start with you. The administrative assistant does not think it a coincidence that “innocent” and “insufferable” are bunkmates in the dictionary. The administrative assistant thinks people need to get up off the floor.

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Every time you came into view, the administrative assistant fluoresced with such loathing, the man who mops the lobby finally could not take it anymore. He went to the boss and closed the door to say it made him sad. The boss made the administrative assistant sit with you in the cafeteria, at the corner table with two saltshakers and no pepper. If you look into anyone’s eyes, you will remember that no one has ever not had beautiful eyes.

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When your cat died the day of the Dense Fog Advisory, you texted the Staff Emergency Only channel. The administrative assistant left the movie, even though it had Harrison Ford. The administrative assistant sprinted across the parking lot, and she held you like she was your grandma, and now the man who mops the lobby is not sad. You will forget that people can change, but you will not forget the face of the administrative assistant coming out of the fog.

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You believe all good things come to an end until the friend who sustained a wound sends you a card with many hamsters. Your friend never said she did not forgive you. Your friend just stopped responding, and it ended there.

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Your friend used to remind you to stand up straight. Your friend used to say that God keeps talking. Your friend does not believe that all wounds heal. Your friend never said that is a bad thing. Your friend said that grief is not a stain but a companion.

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Your friend called six times a day when you had that flu. Your friend sent you socks printed with your own face, so you could walk in power. Your friend sustained a wound and stopped answering. Your friend was not wrong to stop answering, and you were not innocent.

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When you thanked God that you had a friend for a while, your friend sent a card because your friend was eavesdropping. You will go back to the bunker of thinking all good things come to an end, but you will not discard the card with the hamsters. Even though you can’t replace the battery, they will still dance to “Funkytown” at the touch of the button.

 

You assume you are the only one until your pretty cousin finds you on the floor. Your cousin has never been observed, not even by the Holy Ghost, without appropriate pantyhose. Your cousin looks at you like the tie-dyed goat of the family. Your cousin is not wrong.

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Your cousin does not believe you when you say something makes you laugh so hard you were “on the floor.” Your cousin says that is a funny expression that suggests people dropping without warning, anywhere, anytime, like ecstatic narcoleptics. Your cousin is the reason you know it is your favorite expression.

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Your cousin was going to powder her nose, although it has never needed one act of powdering. She bumped you with the bathroom door because you were on the floor. When your cousin looked in your eyes, all you could say was “Christmas is hard,” and for the first time since she has been ambulatory, your cousin began to cry.

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You will not talk about this again, but you will remember to open doors slowly. Someone might be on the other side.